Orchestralist: Light Bulbs Redux

Light Bulbs Redux

Q: How many Orchestralist subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Well, get out the calculator . . .

    96 to recommend great music about light bulbs;
    34 to link to a BBC article about light bulb music and the brain;
    89 to complain about the inadequate government funding for light bulbs;
    73 to recall the time they saw Lenny change light bulbs at Tanglewood;
    89 to point out a missing accidental in measure 117 of a famous light bulb piece;
    85 to say a new scholarly edition corrects the accidental in measure 117;
    33 to say scholarship is overrated and they prefer measure 117 the way it was;
    21 to say “I agree”;
    87 to flame the rest for ignoring the light bulb works of living composers;
    79 to say they would be interested in conducting a new light bulb work if they knew of one;
    424 to announce they've already composed a light bulb work suitable for orchestras of every level;
    828 to announce they haven't yet composed a light bulb work but will happily do so upon commission;
    77 to quote what their teacher in Maine always used to say about light bulbs;
    828 to add they have always wanted to write a light bulb work, and have in fact already composed several successful pieces about flashlights;
    3 to ask how to unsubscribe;
    88 to say they don't mind light bulb music as long as it's tonal;
    98 to flame the people who only like tonal light bulb music;
    74 to make jokes about minimalist light bulbs;
    81 to joke about the desk lamp with no bulb used by John Cage;
    6 to say “digest”;
    1 to announce a terrible light bulb shortage in Romania and request bulb donations;
    52 to complain about stereotyping in light bulb jokes;
    56 to point out that everybody uses stereotypes;
    37 to point out that to say “everybody” is a sweeping generalization;
    86 to warn about a new light bulb virus;
    46 to say they just read an identical light bulb thread on Finalelist;
    2 to ask why we're talking about light bulbs when classical music is going down the toilet;
    48 to complain that they're tired of seeing six posts a day from the same person;
    75 to say that anyone who hates seeing six posts a day from one person has a Delete button;
    96 to say “I agree”;
    126 to object to all the “I agree” posts;
    59 to quote all previous posts and say “I agree.”

Alton Thompson

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